I know I tell you like 80 times a day, but God damn do I love you. Six.Months.Old. Everyone tells you it goes quick. I remember when your mom and I got married, all the married people told us, "Don't blink. It'll be over before you know it." And while we still have a long way to go with you my dude, it's still jaw-dropping that we're already six months in. I'm really trying not to blink. Every single day you're doing something new - a funny face; a new sound. Other parents see us on the streets of our neighborhood together. They smile and ask, "How old?" and when your mom and I tell them six months, there's often a knowing smile and reminder to take it all in, that this is a great age and that soon, we'll be wishing you were still this small, still this dependent on us.
To me, that's the great irony of parenthood so far: feeling guilty for saying, "I can't wait to..." Because I love you so much right now buddy and there's a part of me that - if given some magical choice - would be tempted to keep you small and dependent on me forever. But there's this other part of me that can't wait to see you walk. Can't wait to play catch with you in the park. Can't wait to find out what you think about pizza. Can't wait to see if you're in to metal.
Please, don't grow up. But, I can't wait for you to grow up.
This past month has been quite the month for you. Highlights: Mexico, commuting, and croup.
You travelled outside of the country for the first time to Puerto Vallarta with myself, your dad, Grammy and Grandpa, Uncle Tony, Auntie Alli, Great Uncle Tom, Great Auntie Kathryn and your second cousins Tommy and Katelynn. You were a total champ. You travelled like an angel on the way there, you swam for the first time, and then second and third and absolutely loved it, you danced while I held your hands, experienced warm weather, let everyone hold you, put your toes in the ocean, and we even managed to get you home in one piece despite a fussy flight home. And I don’t blame you for that. A full day of travel ending when you should already be in bed could upset the most level headed adult. It warms my heart to watch you growing so much each and every day as you discover certain things you like and dislike.
March also marked our first official month of me working in Williamsburg and you making the trek out here with me each and every day I work. You have to be the most go with the flow baby. You nap, eat, hang in the pack and play, hang in the carrier, sit on my lap, play with toys, listen as I read to you, occasionally watch Winnie the Pooh or something else, smile at each and every customer, love looking at yourself in the mirror, belly laugh when I run around the store with you, and are down right just happy. The subway soothes you and you usually take the opportunity to nap or just observe all the people and the lights as we commute to and from work. You have made this transition so easy and I am so grateful. Your smiling face and peaceful napping has reassured me that I truly have made a good decision for us.
Last week you came down with your first real illness. I’ll spare you the theatrics, but I will say that it was incredibly scary as a first time parent. We took you to the doctor who said you had croup, gave us the proper instructions, and now you are almost back to normal, just under a week later. You won’t appreciate it until you, yourself are a parent, but please call me when and if this happens with your first child - no matter what time of night it may be. Sometimes you just need a reassuring voice to let you know that so many parents have been there before and that your baby will be alright. Your Gammy had scheduled a trip to New York for the exact time frame we were all sick, cause naturally it didn’t just get you down, but your dad and I too. She came regardless with her boyfriend Mark and took care of us with such ease. I hope you know how lucky you are to have a Grandma who loves you so much that she is just as happy to hold you while you’re sick and snotty and fussy as she is when you’re all smiles. You’re the light of her life.
While you were sick it felt like having a newborn again. You wanted to sleep on my chest and cuddle constantly, you ate every hour even through the night, and well, you just really needed me. It reminded me how much you have grown in these past six months. It really is incredible that we are here, quickly passing your six month mark, and moving forward. You are on the edge of crawling and have almost mastered sitting on your own for longer than a couple minutes. Your two bottom teeth feel like they are right under the surface, so I’m sure we will be seeing those suckers any day now. But this age! Ah, I just love it - it’s unbelievably fun. I love finding new ways to make you laugh or smile, how you will pick up just about anything and bring it to your mouth, to see how hard you will focus on a new toy, how you throw your arms up and down when something excites you, how you are so much more aware of our pup, Jack, and how patient he is as you grab and pull at his hair. I love that even as you are becoming more independent, you still need me. I’m not sure what I will do on the day when you push me aside and say no mama, I can do it. You love people, but you really do love your dad and I the most. I guess we have a slightly unfair advantage considering we’re clocking all the hours here, haha but it’s apparent. You’ve recently started waking up more frequently through the night - I blame this on the potential teeth, crawling development, and sickness and will report back later. ;)
You are simply a joy Owen. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t love you a little more than I did the last. These next couple months are going to be HUGE for your development, but I don’t want to rush it. Time is flying and I just want to savor this moment right here and now because you, and your dad, and our whole life here is just my entire world. It’s hard to believe there was a day before you, O.
Love you always,