Household Mag.

Reminder: This is Water

MotherhoodHailey AndresenComment

Maybe you've felt this at some point or will feel it in the future. Comparison is a natural part of life, of being a woman, of being a mother. Children crawl and walk and talk on their own time in their own way, but there's been a part of me recently that has found myself comparing in these areas. Not because I believe there's anything wrong with Owen or that I am even comparing him to other kids. I know he will crawl and pull himself up and walk in time, exactly as when he's supposed to. The comparison comes more into play with our lifestyle and how I mother. I'm forcing myself to take a step back, take a deep breath, and reassure myself that I in fact am doing what is right for Owen. I worry that because we aren't at home as much as other kids that maybe this could cause delays or that I am in some way doing this parenting thing incorrectly. This could be totally irrational or it could be spot on. Regardless of if this concern holds truth - there's no way around it. I have to work to contribute to our income as a family and I am lucky that this doesn't take time away from Owen and I. 

I think that it's easy to look at women or mothers who share their lives through blogging or Instagram and think, hey they have the "perfect" life. I get it. I've looked. I understand. But, as someone who does share quite a bit, I can assure you that is not the case. Overall, I live a very happy life, and I typically choose to share those happy moments as do the majority of my friends who are not bloggers. Those times are often easier to capture or talk about. But this does not mean I don't struggle or have my doubts as a mother, wife, or woman. I try not to compare, but damn it can be hard. 

The truth is that regardless of your situation there is always someone else you could compare yourself to. There is someone else who may have a nicer home, more time with their kiddos, a better relationship with their spouse, more money, better looks, whatever it may be that you envy. There is obviously a level of healthy comparison that encourages us to be more creative, to work harder, to be better parents, or improve ourselves, but all in all whatever you envy or worship will ultimately rule you and how you value yourself. Make sure it's the things that count if you choose to go that route because we all worship something. And if this is making any sense I highly recommend reading this speech. It's what I read whenever I get this feeling. I have it tattooed on myself and I still sometimes need to be reminded. (Like right now as I'm reading it for the 50th time.)