This is a new series put together by Ana (Lucky Penny Blog) and myself, but in all honesty mostly Ana. She did such a great job of coordinating all the bloggers involved and I’m so grateful for her for doing so. I can’t speak for everyone in the series, but I know I for one always love reading posts whether it’s on social media, blogs or other publications that give you insight into how parenting actually is. It’s so easy to portray happy moments on social media, but the raw and honest moments are what tend to speak to me. That’s our goal here. With words we hope to offer a variety of perspectives on the same topic each month. This month’s topic is, “The moment you realized it takes a village”. So here’s mine.
Sometimes it’s hard to pinpoint an exact moment you realized something that is now so crucial to your daily routine, but as I ask myself this question over and over again I’m brought back to the first time Owen was sick. I was also sick. And let’s just say it was anything but pretty. Since, we’ve realized that Owen is just one of those kids that runs high fevers, but as a first time mother I was worried beyond belief that his high fever, croupy cough and runny nose was basically the end of the world. Dramatic I know, but since I was also sick with a fever and unable to take any medications because of breastfeeding I felt completely helpless. We all know that helpless feeling as a mom when your kid’s sick right? It’s the worst.
I’ve always been a do it myself kind of person. You know, the kid who hated group projects in school because it was just easier to do it myself? Yep, that was me. So coming to terms with the fact that motherhood would often times be a group project was a tough pill to swallow. I expected to share the responsibilities of parenting with my husband, but my mom, my mother-n-law, my friends, my neighbors? Could I really ask them to lend a helping hand? Did this mean I was less than if I needed their help?
I now know that of course it doesn’t mean I am less than. I have learned that my village makes me stronger. Luckily when Owen was sick for the first time my mother in law already had a trip scheduled to New York and was here to help. It was the moment for me that I was no longer able to keep it together for. I caved, I needed help. There were tears at some point, maybe before she got there, maybe it was the moment she walked in the door, maybe it was after we were all healthy again, but there’s no way I could have done it without her or Zack. And if she hadn’t been in town it would have been one of my friends that I would have had to lean on. There was just absolutely no way I could have done it on my own.
The older I get the more I realize how important it is to have a community like this, no matter how small, and that it’s okay to ask for help. There’s no room for an overwhelming sense of independence in motherhood or parenthood in general. There will come a time for every parent where they need a hand and where they need to give someone a hand. It’s just part of the territory. Since coming to this realization I’ve felt an overwhelming sense of relief. I don’t feel guilty for having to cancel plans or suggest a friend comes to my place because we’re still in our PJ’s at noon. Having a village that gets it is so important. I don’t know what I’d do without mine.
Be sure to check out the creative women in the #TogetherWeMother Series by visiting their blogs below:
Photo by Amy Frances Photography.